Enter The Dark
We humans love romanticising brutal events. We turn them into these beautiful, inspiring narratives to be able to better tolerate the many transformations we go through and witness through our lives. Change is often deceitful: even when it's slow and subtle, it is always brutal. Nobody knows what caterpillars feel when, compelled by nature, they begin to create their cocoons. What does it feel like to be stuck inside it for a long time? How difficult is it to get out of it? Does it hurt when their brand new butterfly or moth wings take shape? Do they even prefer flying to crawling on the ground?
The same thing happens with stages of human life, particularly glossed-over when it's a girl or a woman who's going through them. The first period has become a much more popular topic of conversation in the last 4 decades: it has never lost its somewhat alienating, creepy undertones (particularly when you read between the lines of horror novels, stories, and even films) but the way it's addressed in today's media is far more open and positive than it has ever been. It is, of course, still nowhere near as acknowledged or prioritized as it should be: it remains something us women have to go through with a smile on their faces, while we try not to inconvenience or gross others out. We've come to view period discomfort in whatever degree as something normal or 'to be expected' when that is definitely not how it works. Still, though, you won't find many witches focusing on the challenges or negative aspects of menstruation. Many witches have become so attached to the idea of the womb as a their sole source of power and magic, that there are entire practices that are essentially womb-centric cults of motherhood, most of them dominated or at least heavily infiltrated by TERF ideologies.
In the last 5 years a couple of terms have become mainstream within the occult & witchcraft online spheres: one is "shadow work", the other is "the dark feminine".
My entire practice was built around shadow work, which is something I've been doing for several years. I am terrible at timing my own work so I don't want to risk stating a precise amount of years, but I feel that it wouldn't be far off to say that I have been working with my shadow, and with The Shadow, for at least a decade. It is my original calling, something that even my natal chart indicates I am ideally placed in this world to do, and it continues to be the work that gives me the most rewards, the best results, and the sole thing that has allowed me to navigate the last few years of my life with a relative sense of acceptance and a small measure of sanity. Every witch has their own definition of 'shadow'. Mine? My Shadow is Me, in its rawest, most brutal, obscure, decadent, shameful, depraved, and ostracised version. I say this with love, because that bitch has made me who I am today, and she remains my truest ally to this day. My Shadow is the playground of my demons, and it's also where my creativity is rooted. It is the darkness from which everything else that is 'me' and my Universe are born. The Shadow, for me, is the Ultimate Mother.
The other term, the dark feminine, is thrown around a lot these days, mostly when random individuals have popped here and there (Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, etc) are trying to sell you e-books or courses or 'containers' about how to, finally and infallibly, "control men" and become the hot vixen of your own dreams. It's a revenge fantasy taken to the extremes, peppered with a little witchy aesthetics and, at best, with some occult references here and there. The promise: become a baddie and get the (rich) man. Because it's always about getting a man, or making men suffer for how they treated you, and keep yourself from being hurt ever again. The dark feminine has been reduced to a pseudo-coaching cliché that, to me, is the goth-girly version of the misogynistic male stereotype that we know as 'the pick-up artist'.
Predictably, the dark feminine won't ever be found in an e-book of dating tips for girls. Do you want to know where to find it?
It's either at the grip or at the tip of a flogger, waiting to sting.
It's in the bladder of that 20-something belle who keeps getting UTIs every other month for who knows what reason.
It's in the unwanted body hair of girls and women all over the world.
It's buried deep in the endometriosis tissue that makes you scream and cry in agonizing pain.
It's at the very dark, deep, unknown bottom of the deepest oceans.
It's in the skin marks left by a bra strap that never fits, no matter the size.
It's in that blood-like protein that oozes out of raw meat.
It's in that nipple piercing, penetrating it side to side.
It's in the "wrong" side of the scales and measuring tapes.
It's at the very bottom of the mount of rotting leaves at the root of every tree.
It's in every cave on the planet, especially those with jagged, blade-like, sharp-edged rocks.
It's at the very bottom of an empty tube of lipstick.
It's in the eyes of that Mexican sex worker who is in jail for killing her three rapists.
It's inside the batteries of your favourite sex toy.
It's that used, overflowed maxi pad in the trash can.
It's in the bloodwork of a woman who lately feels as though she's slowly losing her mind, who keeps feeling dizzy, losing hair in fistfuls, and whose bowels won't leave her alone.
It's in the keyboard of every woman who writes (good) smut.
It's inside every lingerie drawer in the world.
It's in that sweaty t-shirt worn for messy, creative work.
I am a Left Hand Path witch. I am 45 years old. I am Perimenopausal. I am deep-diving into the depths of the REAL Dark Feminine.
If you want to continue this journey with me, click HERE.
